Cross My Heart Ministry

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30

A woman who fears the Lord is a woman who is reverent, holy, and knows she exists to bring glory to the God who created and redeemed her. She is a woman who intentionally honors God with her choices – her thoughts, attitudes, actions, words, and behaviors.

In this final chapter of Proverbs, there is a long list of character traits describing what we commonly call the “Proverbs 31 Woman.” It’s noteworthy that this particular trait is the last mentioned, suggesting that fearing the Lord is the crowning characteristic that embodies all the others.

The writer reminds us that the ultimate praise for a woman of God comes to one who fears the Lord. To define this, we can go back to the very first chapter of Proverbs where we read this:

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and discipline.
Proverbs 1:7

The place to find knowledge, wisdom, and discipline is God. Sometimes we don’t have it because we fail to ask for it (James 4:2b). All too often when we lack knowledge or wisdom, our first go-to is www-dot-something. We trust Google or an “expert” internet site to find answers to our questions.

But ultimately, real truth – eternal truth – can never be found apart from God.

For that kind of knowledge and wisdom, we must seek after God. We must know that He is the place to begin, if knowledge and wisdom are truly what we desire.

A woman of God asks God for help, then patiently waits on God to provide the answers. As a wife and mother, perhaps these are some knowledge and wisdom questions that need answered:

• How can I make God’s Word a priority when the busy-ness of life seems to take up so much of my time?
• How can I encourage my children to truly love God and seek His will for their lives?
• How can I promote peace and harmony in our home?
• How can I instill a thankful heart in my children and grandchildren?
• How can I be a more kind, loving, and patient wife to my husband?
• How can I glorify God in my home, work, and church?
• How can I be a godly example to the younger women in my life?

The knowledge we seek may be academic, spiritual, emotional, psychological, relational, or otherwise, but ultimately it all goes back to God. We ask and He will provide. And the process of asking and waiting for the answer is one of learning to trust Him. Our faith is bolstered. We become a woman who fears the Lord.

Knowledge and wisdom are often used interchangeably. But I like to think of it this way: knowledge is what I glean from studying God’s Word and asking Him for answers. Wisdom is how He leads me to apply that knowledge. Then, as we cooperate with Him, we exercise discipline to incorporate the answers into life.

Do you want to be a woman who “fears the Lord?” Would you ask God to place that desire in your heart? Will you choose to pray over large and small decisions and challenges in your life? Are you ready to seek knowledge, wisdom, and discipline that only God can provide?

The woman of God fears the Lord.

In this week’s devotional video, Laura introduced our August Write the WORD topic: Parenting by the Book. We invite you to join us – for the second consecutive month – as we focus on Proverbs, this time with an eye toward parenting. What does Proverbs tell us about how to (and how NOT to) raise our children to be godly and faithful?

You can find the latest Write the WORD bookmark and optional S.O.A.P. study pages on our Downloads page, along with the August ‘Do It!’ List and other resources to encourage you to love God and love His Word.

“He who gets wisdom loves his own soul,
he who cherishes understanding prospers.”
Proverbs 19:8

The writer of this Proverb was keenly aware of human nature: we tend to love our own soul and we desire prosperity.

Appealing to that part of our nature, the writer helps us see that if we truly love our soul, we will chase after wisdom, and if we truly desire prosperity, we will cherish understanding.

Wisdom doesn’t just expand our minds, it nourishes our souls. If I love my mind and my soul, I will intentionally seek after wisdom.

Wisdom is the best prescription for soul care.

So often we think of money when we hear the word “prosperity.” But defining prosperity with dollar signs is shallow, temporal, and certainly unsatisfying. Prosperity is more about building meaningful relationships than amassing resources. And one key to strong, meaningful relationships is understanding.

Thinking of relationships, several life connections come to mind: family, marriage, work, church, small groups, political parties, community organizations, and a myriad of others. When disagreements arise in those relationships, what is the goal? Is winning and getting my way the chief aim? Is the conversation about me – and only me – making my preferences and opinions heard? While the other person is speaking, am I listening … or planning what I will say next?

It seems easy to cherish understanding when everyone agrees. But when conflict arises, we’re presented with a true opportunity to demonstrate a heart of wisdom that cherishes understanding. In that moment, listening trumps talking, and understanding triumphs over winning. Prosperity looks like unity, collaboration, and even compromise. It means the person across from me is more valuable than getting my way. The relationship matters.  Understanding the other person’s perspective matters.

If winning is my goal, then unavoidably, by its very definition, someone else loses. Who wants to be a part of a family, a team, a church group, or a workplace with ONE winner and a whole bunch of losers?

The writer of Proverbs doesn’t just say to walk in understanding, or to practice understanding, or to seek after understanding. Instead, he challenges us to cherish understanding.

As I learn to cherish understanding, relationships will be transformed. People become important. I’m letting go of managing behaviors or manipulating people to persuade them to agree with me. I acknowledge the inherent value of the other person, and want to honor and respect this individual whether he or she is my child, spouse, co-worker, co-laborer, or even my enemy.

If I want to nurture my own soul and if I want prosperity, I will cherish understanding.

Lord, would you transform our hearts? Forgive us for the selfish ways of our past. Forgive us for believing that getting our way was the ONLY way. Give us hearts that truly cherish understanding. Holy Spirit, work in us to be peacemakers, problem solvers, and people lovers. Make us prosperous in the ways that honor You and matter for eternity.

The woman of God
cherishes understanding.

Proverbs 14:1 tells us that, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” In this week’s devotional video, Laura shared her thoughts on this convicting passage and encouraged us to receive God’s grace for those times when we’ve done more “tearing down” than “building up” in our own lives.We hope you will be blessed by this teaching!

Fools show their annoyance at once,
but the prudent overlook an insult.
Proverbs 12:16

This Proverb is an example of antithetical parallelism. That’s just a fancy way of saying the first line is the opposite of the second. And for the follower of Christ, that means there are two polarized behaviors available to us when insulted: we can choose to be annoyed or we can choose to let it go.

Choice number one is easy. It takes no effort at all to be annoyed. We even rationalize annoyance: “I’m having a bad day” … so that makes rudeness, irritability, and anger acceptable. Any fool can respond with annoyance when provoked.

Contrasting with the fool’s response is that of the prudent. This is the woman who makes a conscious decision to not be annoyed.  It doesn’t mean the insult is not real or even intentional. The difference is the response to it.

The problem with insults is they are often unexpected. It’s difficult (at best) to maintain our composure when blindsided by insults. If there was an early warning—like the road sign that clues us in to a sharp curve or bump ahead—we could hit our proverbial brakes, breathe deep, and be ready. But often it’s just the opposite. Not only do the insults often come unexpectedly, they also have an uncanny way of rearing up on a day when we slept poorly the night before, or when the air conditioning just failed or a toilet overflowed.

The key to responding well—to letting it go and releasing the annoyance—is authority. The follower of Christ has to decide, today and every day, who is in charge. Who controls us? If it is the Holy Spirit, then we choose to follow His lead and let go of an insult and the resulting annoyance.

Letting it go is hard, especially for those of us growing up in a society where we learned to demand our rights and stick up for ourselves. It may feel like a loss of dignity to simply let it go. But walking in the “opposite spirit” is a mark of spiritual growth. When we are Spirit-led, it enables us to make a deliberate choice to follow His lead and let go of our natural desire to bark back.

The bottom line is: Who controls you? The surly bank teller, less-than-helpful customer service rep, or tantrum-throwing toddler (or teenager) before you? Or the Holy Spirit?

When insults rile you, your response gives you away: in that moment, you’re more controlled by a human pushing your buttons than by the Holy Spirit. But when you let it go—when you allow a provocation to go unanswered—then you are being led by the Spirit of God.

We can never control the behavior of others, but we can change our response to it. Will you allow the Spirit of God to take the Word of God and allow you to release the annoyance that rises up when provoked? Will you choose to just let it go?

The woman of God chooses
to overlook an insult.

In this week’s devotional video, Laura asks: Do I speak rashly? We invite you to watch now as she shares practical wisdom from Proverbs.

With 2 weeks left in July, there is still plenty of time to join our Write the WORD study of Proverbs for the Woman of God. Visit our Downloads page now to find your free bookmark and optional S.O.A.P. pages.

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“Lay hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands and you will live….
Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
guard it well, for it is your life.”
Proverbs 4:4, 13

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to hold on for dear life? An inner tube, a hand railing, a safety harness, and a guardrail are a few items that come to mind. Laying hold conveys intention and intensity: if you find yourself struggling in deep water and someone throws you a life preserver, you don’t grab it with one finger. You wrap both arms around and lay hold with all you’ve got!

What if we began to see God’s Word as our life preserver in the troubled waters of this world? What would change if we intentionally chose to lay hold of God’s Word every morning—if our preeminent, first-and-foremost desire was that daily time with Jesus?

Making that the priority is not just a “have to” … it’s also a “need to” that will transform to a “want to” and even a “delight to” as the habit is practiced.

I’m convinced there can be no real, lasting transformation apart from laying hold of the Word of God.

It can be easy to lay hold first thing in the morning, then let go as the storms (or even the squalls) of the day come crashing in. Even the daily rhythm of full-but-not-stressful days can carry us away in the tide, and lead us to let go of what we laid hold of that morning.

It’s imperative that we not just lay hold, but intentionally hold on throughout our daily journey.

The writer of Proverbs warns and challenges:

• Do not let it go.
• Guard it well.
• It is your life.

We hold tight and guard that which is precious, treasured, essential. Is that your attitude towards the Word of God? Would you like it to be? Could you ask God to stir up your heart, helping you to see the Word of God as vital to your survival?

Are you holding on through the course of the day?

I don’t think any of us intentionally choose to let it go or lay it down. There are just so many other things to grab onto … good things, necessary things, fun things. They don’t seem evil or bad or even inherently sinful, but we must realize: anything else we grab hold of will replace God on the throne of our lives. Whatever we grasp, and let go of the Word to do so, becomes an idol.

Whether you have chosen to intentionally let go, or whether your grip has just loosened a bit, you are vulnerable.

Ready for lay hold and hold on check-up?

• Are you laying hold of God’s Word every day?
• Do you pray God’s Word back to Him, or ask Him how to apply what you have read?
• Later in the day, do you think about the words you read in the morning?
• Do you share the insights you’ve gleaned during conversations with others?
• Are you hungry and thirsty for the Word of God?
• Do you delight in God’s Word?
• Are you ready to ask God for a lay hold and hold on assignment?

I’m convinced it’s much easier to lay hold and hold on when you have surrounded yourself with others who are doing the same. If you are surrounded with floaters, it will be easier to float. But if your tribe—the ones near and dear to you—are all holding on, you will be spurred on to do likewise.

How is God calling you to not just lay hold, but to intentionally hold on all day long?

This week’s video from our Write the WORD journey through Proverbs, Laura shared thoughts on Proverbs 10:11. We invite you to listen, then let us know how you think the words of a woman of God can be a fountain of life!

It’s not too late to join our study of Proverbs during the month of July. Visit our Downloads page to get your own copy of our free bookmark and optional S.O.A.P. study pages.

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The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:
for attaining wisdom and discipline…
Proverbs 1:1-2a

King Solomon, writing in Proverbs, introduces himself in chapter one, verse one and immediately provides his purpose in writing: He wants to help the reader gain wisdom and discipline. There is more to the list, of course, but this first goal summarizes the overarching theme of his writings very well.

Wisdom and discipline.

Let those two percolate for a bit. Wisdom seems to be the knowledge of what is right, while discipline seems to be actually doing what is right. As women of God, we must endeavor to not only know, but to do.

The knowing part is virtually impossible apart from the Word of God. We may pick up bits of knowledge or sage sayings here and there, but absolute truth that triumphs through time, government regimes, social and political trends, and changing leaders can only be found in God’s Word. How blessed we are to live in a time and place in history that allows us the privilege of owning our very own Bible and having the ability to read it! There are those who long for this gift we often leave unopened.

We choose to starve ourselves spiritually, when a feast is readily available.

The knowing then brings the accountability of doing. Our fleshly nature can be very troublesome on this point. I know I’m prone to laziness, selfishness, pride … and these often interfere with living out the wisdom God provides. But I praise God, as the old country preacher used to say, “I ain’t what I used to be!” I would add, “I’m not yet what I’m gonna be, either!” — or, for those who prefer more sophisticated verbiage, “I’m not what I once was, and not yet what I will become.”

Our transformation as women of God is day-by-day, even moment-by-moment. Growth happens slowly, sometimes painfully, but if the Holy Spirit dwells in us, He will prompt and prod, push and pull to move us forward spiritually. I believe God loves us just as we are, but also loves us too much to leave us this way. And Proverbs can help in this refinement of our souls. It offers timeless truth that, when applied, will change our hearts and minds.

As we read through the book of Proverbs together this month, will you ask God to open your eyes to see truth — to see and take hold of wisdom, and then give you the courage to walk it out through disciplined living?

Are you ready to be transformed by attaining wisdom and discipline?

If you are a believer, saved by grace, does keeping God’s commands really matter? In this week’s Friday devotional video, Laura shares insights from Proverbs 7:1-3.

 Love must be sincere.
Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
Be devoted to one another in love.
Honor one another above yourselves.
Romans 12:9-10

Depending on who does the counting and which ones are included, there are at least 59 one anothers in Scripture.

We are to forgive one another, care for one another, serve one another, and be patient with one another. In the passage above, Paul adds two more to the long list:

• Be devoted to one another.
• Honor one another.

Both these fall under the over-arching umbrella of love. The message is clear: if we really and truly love one another, then we live that out by extending devotion and honor. Paul even adds a qualifier lest we try to shirk: above yourselves.

Read the passage again and allow it to marinate in your heart and mind.

Have you ever had a conversation with the Holy Spirit? You may have thought it was an over-active conscience, but nope … it’s the Spirit of God. He shows up in our thought life.

The one another conversation often surfaces when I’m reading Scripture. The Spirit of God delights in taking the Word of God and making it clear where my “Laura” is showing. As a follower of Christ, I want the Spirit in me to lead out. I want Him to be showing in my attitudes and behaviors.

We may extend an elementary-level attempt at honor—and might even feel pretty good about the effort put forth—when the Spirit of God shows up in a holy conversation:

Holy Spirit: Laura, I want you to honor her.

Laura: I did, Lord.

Holy Spirit: But did you honor her above yourself?

Busted.

I think those of us living in the Western World of freedom, fast food, and frenzied schedules enjoy our lives of grace. We love our liberty in Christ. What we don’t like is to be inconvenienced. So long as I can squeeze in my one anothers at a good time for me, I’m okay. But please, don’t ask me to reschedule my hair appointment, or my dental cleaning. And I always do laundry on Tuesday. Don’t call on Tuesday.

And for those of us with children still at home … is this such a high and holy calling that we get a pass on all the one anothers in Scripture? It may not be a conscious decision, but perhaps there’s an underlying attitude that effectively says, “I cannot accept that love assignment, Jesus. I am too busy with parental responsibilities.”

Ouch.

Sister Friend, I’ve been there. I’ve walked through the days of circling the wagons and tending to my home fire. Days of taking care of my own home and leaving everyone else to do the same.

I’ve also thrown myself all-in on the opposite end, behaving as if everyone’s need is my call.

May I very politely—but very pointedly—look you in the proverbial eye now, and tell you that both can be sinful and both can be rooted in pride?

We are to love one another, to honor one another above ourselves. And that might mean a cup of coffee with a hurting woman will trump my laundry-done-on-Tuesday regimen.

But I also want to tell you that teaching and training the children God entrusted to you is not something we are to “fit in” while dashing off to be everybody else’s everything. There are a few one anothers living under your own roof.

But how do I know which one another to love on today? How do I know if my honoring others is enough to satisfy the “above yourselves” criteria?

I’m glad you’re asking the question, but you’re asking the wrong person. It’s our Lord you need to ask.

Check in with Jesus.

Listen for the voice of His Spirit dwelling in you.

He loves holy conversations … and I’m convinced He especially loves it when we ask the opening question.

Laura introduces our July Write the WORD topic, in Friday’s devotional video:

Download your copy of July’s free bookmark HERE, and find the optional S.O.A.P. Bible study pages HERE.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
‘Honor your father and mother’
—which is the first commandment with a promise—
so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.
Ephesians 6:1-3

Paul’s letter to the Ephesians quotes the fifth commandment. Originally recorded in Exodus 20:12 and etched on tablets given to Moses hundreds of years before Paul’s day, it continues to bring timeless truth to a modern-day audience many years later.

Paul makes his case for choosing to honor parents, giving two specific reasons:

1. It is right to do so.
2. It comes with a promise.

Doing What Is Right
For the follower of God, doing what is right is not up for a vote. We don’t weigh the options and reach a consensus after collaboration and discussion.

Choosing to do what is right is a daily act of conscious obedience. It acknowledges God’s authority in our lives. We choose to obey Him because He is our Savior and our Lord.

How do you know what is right? You seek and search the Scriptures. You cannot do what is right until you know what is right. Abiding in His Word daily keeps us immersed in the truth and knowing the path God has laid out for us.

Obedience Brings Blessing
I believe God always blesses us when we obey Him. The blessing may be the peace and joy that comes from abiding in Him – the contentment that resonates in our spirit by fulfilling our call to bring Him glory. There is a deep sense of satisfaction that comes when I’m walking in the Spirit. Nothing else in this world brings that sense of peace and joy.

But the blessing for this particular commandment is specific … we get a so that.

I love finding a so that in Scripture. I love it when God provides a specific why for the what He calls us to do.

The promise here is this: life will go well and we will get long life. I’m not sure exactly how that all plays out in my specific circumstance or yours, but I do know that I don’t want to miss any blessing that God offers.

Choosing to Honor
When it comes to our relationship with our parents, Paul makes it clear that honor should lead out. Here are a few questions to consider as you do your own honor-your-father assessment:

1. Do I listen patiently – even to stories I’ve heard before?
2. Do I make calling my parents a regular (weekly?) priority?
3. Do I speak kindly about them to my children?
4. Do I make decisions about their care based on what is best for them … even if it’s inconvenient for me?
5. Do I spend my greatest resource for them: my time? (And do I choose to eliminate distractions – like my phone – when I’m with them?)
6. Do I acknowledge the values or skills learned from them?
7. Have I thanked them for teaching me to ride a bike, cook, fish, or work hard?
8. Have I chosen to forgive (and let go of) things they may have done wrong?
9. Have a chosen to be grateful for what they did right?
10. Do I pray for my parents?

I hope this list convicts you as it does me. It offers yet another opportunity to receive God’s grace and forgiveness for our past faults and failings. It is also a chance for the Holy Spirit to spur us on to walk in obedience, in our present and our future.

Today is Father’s Day. What a great time to begin to choose honor – to hear and obey Paul’s Ephesians 6 challenge. Perhaps the best way to honor our heavenly Father today is to honor the earthly father He gave us.

How will YOU choose to honor your father today?

This month, our Write the WORD focus has been the word HONOR. We’ve already been reminded of how we release honor to God and others. But in this week’s Friday devotional video, Laura shares thoughts on how God honors us, as well! Listen to her message now to hear more:

Would you like to join us for the remaining days of our study on honor? Visit our Downloads page today for your free Write the WORD bookmark and optional S.O.A.P. study pages!