Cross My Heart Ministry

“… from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures,
which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith
which is in Christ Jesus.”
II Timothy 3:15

Paul is writing to Timothy, his spiritual son. (He refers to him in I Timothy 1:2 as “my true son in the faith.”) Thanks to the faith of his mother and grandmother, Timothy knew about God and knew the Scriptures from an early age.

But, of course, God has no grandchildren. At some point, Timothy believed for himself (II Timothy 1:5). He accepted the gift of salvation that comes by grace through faith.

Like Lois and Eunice, Timothy’s mother and grandmother, we can ensure our children know the Word. We can take them to church to hear the Word. We can play Christian music and buy them Christian books. But, of course, none of that will save them. They must come to sincere faith in Christ on their own.

We can do everything within our power to make sure our children know the truth—and then each must choose to bend their knee to Jesus.

Perhaps you are a woman who did not come to faith yourself until your adult years. Maybe you have adult children that have rejected your faith. Do not let the enemy rob you of peace and joy for today. Do not take on illegitimate guilt. The past is done … confess anything you need to confess, receive His forgiveness (I John 1:9) and then move on! Forgive yourself, sister friend!

Choose today to pray. Pray intentionally and unceasingly for your child, whether he/she is an infant, a child, an adolescent, or an adult. If there is life, there is hope. Pray and keep on praying!

Lord God Almighty, thank You for the gift of salvation! Jesus, thank You for the magnitude of Your great love demonstrated at the Cross and the unmatched strength of Your mighty power demonstrated by Your resurrection. O God, thank You for loving me enough to die for me. Let my child see that you love her and died for her, too. Convict her of sin. Draw her to yourself. Overwhelm her today with Your great love. Let today be her day of salvation!Have you downloaded this month’s free Write the WORD bookmark, 30 Prayers & Verses for Our Children? You can claim your copy here, and we pray that it will bless you by providing prompts that spur you on to pray—and keep praying—for those you love!

I would also like to invite you to join this year’s ladies Bible study in I Corinthians. It’s not too late to join in person or to follow along with our weekly lessons online. This week’s video features an introduction to the study. We invite you to view the first week’s teaching here:

“As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD
by failing to pray for you…”
I Samuel 12:23

According to Samuel, prayerlessness is indeed a sin.

This verse is part of Samuel’s farewell address to the people of Israel. He served as judge, prophet, and priest — and he took his assignment seriously. He spoke truth, and wasn’t even afraid to confront the king when necessary.

Quite honestly, I feel a bit convicted by his words here and hope you do, as well.

Samuel’s challenge should spur us on to pray for those entrusted to us. Are you a mom, aunt, grandmother, mentor, or neighbor to a child? Do you teach Sunday School? Are you an Awana leader? Most likely every woman of God has a child she can pray for.

Noting that Samuel shares these words in his farewell address also reminds us that although our children may be adults, or our time of teaching a 2^nd grade class has ended, our prayer assignment has not. Samuel may have finished his priestly duties, but he was not finished praying for God’s people.

Are you and I continuing to pray in every season? Or are we allowing other things to draw our attention and lead to prayerlessness?

E.M. Bounds said this about prayer:

“Prayer should not be regarded as a duty
which must be performed,
but rather as a privilege to be enjoyed,
a rare delight that is always revealing some new beauty.”

Does prayer feel more duty than delight to you? Would you consider that it could become a privilege to be enjoyed?

Perhaps prayer confuses you. Where to begin? What to pray? Does it really make a difference?

Of course, prayer can include praise and thanksgiving, as well as intercession. We can pray for ourselves, our world, and our nation. The most selfless prayers we pray are those we pray for others. And as we are humbled by preparing our children for life, prayer is our most effective tool.

Praying God’s Word back to Him is a natural way to start praying, to learn to pray, and to continue on in prayer. Inspired by Samuel, this month’s Write the WORD endeavors to equip all of us to press in and pray for the children in our lives. On our Downloads page, you’ll find September’s free bookmark of 30 Prayers & Verses for Our Children, along with the corresponding (but always optional) S.O.A.P. Bible study pages. The PDF download includes two copies of the bookmark; I hope you will use one for yourself and consider sharing the second as a gift.

In Friday’s video, Laura took a closer look at Paul’s “go-to” greeting in I Corinthians 1:3, opening his letter to the church at Corinth: Grace and Peace to you….

Many of the apostle Paul’s letters open with this greeting. It’s easy to read that little phrase quickly and then move on. But we hope Laura’s teaching on this phrase in this week’s devotional video will give you pause each time you hear (or read) “grace and peace” and will prompt you to grateful worship!

It’s not too late to join our fall Bible study of I Corinthians, whether you are able to participate in person, online, or independently! Visit our Facebook Event Page to learn more!

As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17

The expression “peer pressure” certainly carries a negative connotation. Secular and non-secular studies alike have confirmed the impact (particularly during adolescence) of peers. Teenagers, when influenced by their friends, are far more vulnerable to substance abuse, reckless behavior, bullying, and a host of other things that are potentially life-altering.  

As conscientious Christian parents, we may try to postpone the timing of those influences … but please don’t ever assume you can avoid them altogether. And please don’t assume that another teen is godly, simply because he or she was raised in a godly family (to the best of your knowledge).  

When our children are young, we control their relationships. We choose who they play with, what they do, and where they go. And to a certain extent—especially when parents are very engaged with their kids—that can continue into adolescence.

But at some point, we need to hand them the reins. Only you, as the parent, can decide when is the right time for that to happen. It will be a decision not only unique to each family, but perhaps to each child.  

If we are devoted to teaching and training their hearts, our focus will be to prepare them to make good choices for themselves and help them understand how they can do that. It’s easy to build high walls and keep them in place until our children turn 18 … but what happens then?  

As a mother of four adults, I’m a long-time advocate of communication early on. Ask your children what makes a good friend. Role play with questions like, “What would you do if ___?” Using “worst case scenario” tools, empower them for as many situations as you can imagine. Explain some of your own poor choices (or those you have witnessed in others) as a warning. Pray. Talk. Share.  

We must prepare our children to make wise choices in friends. We must also challenge them to be a positive influence upon others.

Here are a few questions that come to mind for discussion with your child: 

1. What qualities make for a good friend? 
2. Who is your best friend and why? 
3. What would you do if a friend wanted you to watch or do something that made you feel uncomfortable? 
4. What did Joseph do when he was in an uncomfortable situation? (See Genesis 39) 
5. Did I ever tell you about the time …? 

Each passing year is one less we have to be the daily, primary influence upon our children. Ultimately, we hope and pray it is the voice of the Holy Spirit they choose to heed above all. But we know that peers will also influence their lives, attitudes, and behaviors.

If they choose well, peer pressure can be a profoundly positive influence in the lives of our children.  

Lord, I pray for my children and for their friends.
I pray You would raise up a generation of Christ followers
who love You and love Your Word.
I pray my children would choose their confidants well.
I pray You would hedge them in from the wrong friends
and steer them to those who will be a positive influence –
that they would mutually encourage each other to live for You,
always and in all ways.
May iron sharpen iron in all their relationships.
Amen.

In this week’s Martha Monday video, Laura introduces our September Write the WORD bookmark, which includes 30 prompts for those of us who want to pray for our children (or grandchildren) but aren’t always sure where to begin.

You can download your own copy of September’s bookmark and optional S.O.A.P. Bible study pages here.

Would you like to be one of the first to know when Laura shares a new video? By subscribing to the Cross My Heart Ministry channel on YouTube, you can not only opt to receive notifications of new videos, but you can show your support for our ministry. If our videos and blog posts have been an encouragement to you, we would be honored for you to share them with your friends and family!

In the course of one day – even one hour – our words can encourage and inspire … or they can discourage and destroy.  

You and I can easily recall a scene from our childhood, teenage years, or even last week, when the words of a friend, family member, or acquaintance brought a blessing that spurred us on – or robbed us of our joy, bringing tears to our eyes and pain to our hearts. Even after many years, those memories have the power to bring up thoughts and feelings as if they just happened.  

Words carry heavy weight and great power. They can be used for good or evil. Perhaps the greatest indicator of our stewardship is how we use our words to influence others.  

We teach and train our children to say the right things on the outside: 

• Yes, Ma’am.
  
• No, Sir.
  
• Thank you.
  
• You’re welcome.
  

But we must be diligent to train their hearts.  Jesus reminded us: 

“…out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”
Matthew 12:34 

Our tongues are the bucket drawing up what is hidden in the well of our hearts. Training and taming our tongues must begin with what we pour into our hearts. 

As we’ve been reading and writing in Proverbs, many of the passages have focused on the tongue and the power of words: 

• The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment. Proverbs 10:21 
• An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up. Proverbs 12:25 
• He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. Proverbs 13:3
• A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly. Proverbs 14:29 
• A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 
• A man finds joy in giving an apt reply – and how good is a timely word. Proverbs 15:23 
• Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24 
• A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. Proverbs 18:2 
• He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame. Proverbs 18:13 
• The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21 

Please take a moment to read those verses again slowly. When you have finished, pray them back to God for yourself, your children, and your spouse.   

Controlling and stewarding our words is another area for not only teaching our children, but actively living out a godly role model before them. Of course, we won’t always get it right. Of course, we will lose our tempers, become impatient, or speak rashly and without thought. But as we grow in Christ, yielding more and more to the Holy Spirit, we can hopefully see a downturn in those behaviors.  

As the Spirit increasingly controls our hearts, our tongue will bring forth more of the Holy Spirit’s influence from that well: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. 

When you get it wrong, own it. Repent, apologize, receive forgiveness from God and from others, then move on. Don’t languish in self-condemnation.   

Our good choices provide a godly example for our children – and even our poor choices (and there will be plenty of those!) model what to do when we get it wrong. As we repent and seek forgiveness, they have a recipe for a “do-over” … and aren’t we ALL grateful that the Kingdom of God has room for do-overs?  

Let’s intentionally, consciously, deliberately use our tongues to inspire, build up, and encourage others today! In this week’s Friday video, Laura shared a prequel to our fall Bible study in I Corinthians, by looking briefly at Acts 18 where we find a little insight into how the church at Corinth was established. Please listen in and share this video with others, as a means of inviting them to join the Bible study in person, online, or by independently following along!

As we approach September and the start of this year’s Bible study, we invite women in the Northwest Arkansas / Northeast Oklahoma area to join us in person on Wednesday mornings, beginning September 7th. We meet from 9 – 11 a.m. (weather permitting) at Camp Siloam in Siloam Springs, AR. For those who live outside the area or can’t attend for other reasons, we are making it possible for you to join an online group or study along on your own.

Want to learn more about how you can participate? Visit our Facebook event page for all the relevant details!

When looking over verses from our Write the WORD bookmark, it’s often challenging to choose just one to unpack for the Sunday Soaking devotional. Instead, I’ve opted today to highlight three passages from our “Parenting By The Book” theme, and to suggest how to pray those verses back to God as you intercede for your precious ones: 

My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you.
Proverbs 7:1

Lord, your word is life. I pray my children would not just memorize Your Word but would love it and live it. Give each of them an insatiable hunger and thirst for your truth that will never be satisfied this side of heaven. As they open Your Word, let it be with an expectant heart and an eagerness to learn. I pray that You would surprise and delight them, as they realize that something they read that morning applies directly to their lives that afternoon. May they marvel and meditate, listen and learn, speak and share Your Word. I pray each of my children would allow the light of your truth to illuminate their path and they would walk in the bright light of that truth all their days. Give me creativity and wisdom in how we, as a family, can store up Your commands, as we memorize passages together. May our family embrace all the blessing and benefits that come from knowing, loving, living, and hiding Your Word. (Psalm 119)

Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you;
rebuke the wise and they will love you.
Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still;
teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.
Proverbs 9:8-9 

Jesus, I pray each of my lovelies would have teachable spirits. I pray they would have the humility and maturity to accept correction and grow wiser as a result. Give me great wisdom to disciple and discipline well – convict me, Holy Spirit, when I’m tempted to correct in anger. May love lead out as I rebuke. Above all, may my children know I love them, want what is best for them, and may they desire to grow through godly correction and training. Help me to be thoughtful, consistent, faithful, and true to Scripture as I teach and train my children. I pray they would be caught when guilty and I would respond calmly and appropriately. (James 1:20)

Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.
He who gathers crops in summer is a prudent son,
but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son.
Proverbs 10:4-5

Dear God, it seems so logical to want our children to have a better life than ourselves. Help me to refuse to spoil them by failing to teach them the value of hard work and responsibility. Help me to intentionally increase responsibilities and broaden life skills with each birthday. Give each of them a desire to pursue excellence in all their duties and whether or not anyone is watching. May they be diligent whether serving as a volunteer or in a paid position. Ultimately, may each realize that it is You they are serving (Colossians 3:23)

A love for God’s Word, a teachable spirit, and a strong worth ethic.

If our children reach adulthood with those three traits, we can rest assured that we have done our jobs well. As is true in most areas of life, these biblical values are “more caught than taught.” Our faithful example will carry much more weight than our lectures.

We must show them – not just tell them.

As you and I pray for our children, we must also pray for ourselves, asking the Holy Spirit to spur us on to love the Word, model a teachable spirit, and demonstrate a strong work ethic. Let’s do it!

In Friday’s video, Laura introduced the topic of her upcoming Cross Church Siloam Springs Ladies Bible Study and extended an invitation to join us – in person or online – as we take a closer look at I Corinthians. If you live in the Northwest Arkansas / Northeast Oklahoma area, you can join us at Camp Siloam on Wednesdays, from 9 – 11 a.m., beginning September 7, 2022.

“Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.”
Proverbs 4:23

What is it about children that has them always longing to be older—wanting more privileges and opportunities? Every mother has heard questions like: 

• When can I watch PG movies?
• Can I go to the amusement park with a group of friends? 
• When can I have my own cell phone? 
• Can I borrow the car?
• Can I go shopping with my friends? 
• Can I get a laptop this school year? 
• When can I go on a date? 
  

The ones you hear may not be those specifically, but your child will ask to do things, see things, spend time with people, and go places that give you pause or even make you shudder.  

We want desperately to protect them, but we also want to raise responsible, well-rounded adults who will impact the world for the Kingdom of King Jesus. In the midst of the child-rearing years, you’re often exhausted and overwhelmed, and may feel like you have all the time in the world to teach and train. Some days it’s just about survival and keeping them all alive!

A wise person once told me: The days go by slow, but the years go by fast. Take it from this mother of four adult children, that is sage insight! 

This verse reminds us that all our teaching and training needs to zero in on the heart.

Physically speaking, the heart is the indicator of life. As long as there is a heartbeat, there is life—even as other organs may shut down. Remember that first ultrasound? I recall the technician pointing to a flashing light on the screen and telling me that was my baby’s heartbeat. Technology has come a long way since my first pregnancy in 1989, but I still tear up thinking about the wonder and joy of that experience. 

As the writer of Proverbs 4:23 reminds us in this verse, the heart is the “wellspring of life.” It is the reservoir of our affections, motivations, and convictions; the source of our attitudes, actions, words, thoughts, and behaviors.  

As parents, it’s easy to get caught up in controlling outward behaviors; to bully and force our children into compliance using our authority and parental rights.

Please don’t.

Don’t settle for “have to” when training your children. Instead, choose to pray, lead, and guide them to a place of “want to.” Go after their hearts. If we have done our job well as parents, each year should find us releasing more and more trust and responsibility to our children so they are ready to make wise decisions by the time they become adults. 

Today I’d like to share ten “Guard Their Hearts” thoughts, as we unpack Proverbs 4:23 together: 

GUARDING THEIR HEARTS IS YOUR JOB. 
Whether through TV, books, friends, video games, the horrors to be found on the internet, or something else, the evil one wants to capture the hearts of our children. We don’t need to be fearful, but we must be aware. Don’t abdicate your responsibility.

It may be easy to keep a child occupied in front of a screen, so you can check your email or cook dinner, but know what they are watching. Don’t let anyone or anything engage your precious ones without first checking it out yourself. You would never open the front door and invite someone you’ve never met to babysit, so why allow a stranger on a screen to have access? This has become even more true as our culture embraces ever more warped and ungodly views on so many things.

TRAIN THEM IN SELF-CONTROL. 
While it is your job to be the watchman on the walls of their hearts when they are young, eventually you want them to make good choices for themselves. The goal is helping them move from “have to” to “want to.”  Work toward the day that your children claim this verse for themselves:  I will set nothing wicked before my eyes… Psalm 101:3

EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT. 
Parenting is not a one-size-fits-all plan. Just as some children learn to walk at 9 months and others at 16 months, so they will each be ready for growing-up opportunities at different ages. Don’t be afraid to deal with each child as the individual they are.

I chuckled when Peter looked at John and said to Jesus, “What about him?” Jesus responded: If I want him to be remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me. John 21:22b  

If Jesus had a unique plan for each disciple, it’s certainly okay for parents to have a unique plan for each child.

EVERY FAMILY IS DIFFERENT. 
Your family may have chosen to have no television in your home, to share one internet-connected computer, or decided your children will never spend the night with a friend. But make no mistake, you will still need to address the issues of heart.

THE LINE WILL EVENTUALLY HAVE TO BE CROSSED. 
Setting up hedges of protection is our job. We must protect our children. But at some point they will grow up and they must be prepared for dealing with the temptations and challenges the world will present. They must cross the line at some point from parental control to self-control.

ALLOW THEM TO EXPERIENCE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR CHOICES.
Don’t expect them to be perfect; they are being raised by imperfect parents. We are grown-up sinners raising little sinners. Their mess-ups offer the best opportunity for teaching and training. We do them a disservice if we don’t let them learn early on that choices have consequences. It is love that prompts a parent to discipline a child. In fact, we should pray they are caught when guilty, and pray that we as parents respond calmly and appropriately—seizing that situation as a teachable moment.

My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. Proverbs 3:11-12

TRUST BUT VERIFY.
While some of our readers may be too young to remember when President Reagan was dealing with the Soviets, “trust but verify” was a good plan then, and it’s still a good plan for parents monitoring the behaviors of their children.

Trust that they will obey, but verify. It is your right—and responsibility—to monitor the websites they are visiting, the text messages they are sending, and the movies they are streaming. If they tell you they are going to a certain place, confirm that’s where they are. When/if they fail, don’t allow your own anger to rob you of the opportunity to teach and train.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.  James 1:19-20

PRAISE THE GOOD CHOICES. 
My mama used to say, “You get more flies with honey than vinegar.” It’s much easier to catch our children doing right and praise them for it, than to catch them doing wrong and criticize them. Praise for their good choices will, in turn, make it easier for them to receive our constructive criticism and discipline.

Above all, they must know and believe that we love them, and trust that we have their best interests at heart.

COMMUNICATION IS KEY. 
Every relationship (whether it is a friendship, husband/wife, employer/employee, or parent/child) thrives or fails with communication. We can never assume that any other person—especially an immature child—understands our motivations and expectations.

Make sure your kids not only understand what you expect, but why. “Because I’m the mom!” may work for managing outward behavior, but tends to be not-so-effective when we’re going after their hearts.

PRAY. 
James reminds us: …The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16b  Parenting is hard work.  It is a spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental battle. The hearts of our children are on the line. We can’t do this on our own or with our own strength.

If you are a believer, you need to “woman up” … and fall to your knees in prayer. What a sweet relief to talk to the One who knows our kids best and loves them most—even more than we love them. His is a perfect, all-knowing, infallible love. 

Mom, hang in there. Parenting is hard work, a great challenge that comes with the sweetest of blessings. Keep praying, and keep asking God for wisdom in how to guard their hearts—until they are prepared to guard their own.  

When discussing the subject of privileges and growing up, I used to tell my kids, “You will know you are grown up when you can say no to yourself. Until then, it’s my job to say no for you!”  

Would you join with me in praying that our children have the desire and self-control to guard their own hearts? 

Father, thank you for these precious children that you have entrusted me to raise. Thank you for the encouragement and blessing your Word provides to assist me in this high and holy calling. Lord, fill me with Your Spirit, and let the fruit of Your Spirit be released upon me as I teach and train. I pray that love would lead out as I disciple and discipline my children. Help me to be wise and intentional to guard their hearts. I pray for the day they each have the desire to guard their own hearts. I pray that You would fill each with a desire to live to please You in all they do. Keep them from evil … protect them from evil … may they have no desire for evil. I pray my little ones would grow to be strong men and women of God that live to bring You glory! 

In this week’s devotional video, Laura talks about the importance of praying for our children and grandchildren.

We’re only one week into the month of August, with weeks left to read, write, and ponder the verses from Proverbs in our current Write the WORD. Have you printed your bookmark and S.O.A.P. study pages? If not, we invite you to visit our Downloads page today, where you’ll find these, and other, free resources.