In Mark 10, the Pharisees try to trip Jesus up by asking a question on the sticky subject of divorce. But Jesus turns the tables on them and launches into some powerful teaching on marriage. Last week in Bible study, we explored the subject of marriage in-depth. You can hear the full message here:
(And, if you would like to have the power point slide show or the handouts prepared for this lesson, just email me: Cross.My.Heart@cox.net)
As we prepared to launch into the passage, it seemed important to clear up a few misconceptions. Here are three “Marriage is NOTS” for you to consider:
- Marriage is NOT to make you happy….but to make you HOLY.
“… just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy…”
Ephesians 5:25-26
Do you remember the story about the Samaritan woman who met Jesus at the well in John 4? She had had five husbands – and the man she was living with then was not her husband. This woman was obviously seeking something through marriage that she wasn’t finding. It’s not just a problem in our 21st century world or one reserved for Hollywood marriages. Throughout the ages people have looked to marriage for happiness.
In Ephesians 5, Paul is talking about marriage….and explains that just as Christ died to make the church holy….so the purpose of marriage is to make us holy.
If my goal in marriage is happiness, I will be disappointed.
But if my goal in marriage is holiness, I will receive happiness as a by-product!
2. Marriage is NOT a 50/50 arrangement.
If each spouse is reaching out at 50% extension, they barely touch in the middle. What, then, happens on those days one of you decides to hold back just a tad – at 49 or 48…or even 40? No touching, no overlap, no interaction. A gap is created – a distance. It leaves our marriage exposed and vulnerable. That’s the opportunity for the evil one to attack. If instead, both decide to give 100% — make it 100/100 instead of 50/50 – then you have an “all-in” commitment. And then when you pull back, there is still overlap. Pulling back from 100 to even 80 still leaves your marriage with a layer of protection against the attacks of the enemy. In marriage you are either in a place of interaction and protection…or isolation.
3. Marriage is not about me…but we.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 2:3-4
Once you say I do…everything changes. It is no longer my money, my time, my stuff….it’s a shared existence. No more me-ness, but we-ness. A life of compromise and sacrifice that leads to a place of joy and contentment. When both of you strive to put the other first, it’s beautiful. It’s satisfying. It’s fun and it’s blessed. But you don’t get there by plotting and strategizing what you will get out of it. No more ME…but WE!
Philippians 2:3-4 offers good advice for all relationships– but especially for our marriages: value others above yourselves.
Because marriage is God’s design, men and women of God are called to honor God in their marriage.
(Photo: Yes– that’s me and my hubby! We celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary in January.)
